yeah yeah sucky day

I did not weigh, did not meaure. I did not go outside. Inertia rules.
I watched The View and I did do my sublim hypnosis. That was the plus du jour.
I did not go to the grocery store or Trader Joes. I was awake all night listening to Gary Null and his dire talk of bad health and politics...switching to BBC worldservice when I realized it was the damn fund beg. I hate the fund-beg....they say the phone number too many times.

What I ate-dregs of the empty house...I ate celery w/some Skippy peanut butter. I ate a bad of sweet maui onion potatoe chips from the 99 cent store. I ate a bag of salted peanuts in the shell from the dollar store. I ate a tiny pack of chicken spooge from Nutrisystem on some fake ritz like crackers....it's like cat food. I ate half a package of marshmello cookies from the 99 cent store. Water and my multivitamin, a biotin, a primrose oil and a potassium. bleh I feel bloated and like crap and since I BARELY moved I have the swollen up bad tire thighs which ache and make it impossible to walk and or go to the car.

The thigh thing is excess lymph I believe. It is creepy and hurts like achy not stabbing pain. I know that if I just move MOVE more it gets better...just pushing thru that pain....puts me back on the chair or the bed.

I started reading Jenette Fulda's Half assed book again. She just started, she had gall bladder surgery and that kind of pushed her into dealing with the fat. I liked her book the first time because she wasn't overly dramatic or a food nazi or exercise nazi. And she didn't have that 12 stepper attitude when they have like a month sober and they become overbearing know it alls who feel the need to crow about how they are now qualifyed to tell everone else how to live. Subset of AA includes the fucked up on the Lord Jesus people. They replace drugs and alcohol with meetings and the bible and get the feverish urge to SHARE with one and all. I love how they all smoke like maniacs and mainline bad strong coffee while pretending those two behaviors are not compulsive. OA was not for me. I don't like that whole victim mentality.

I wonder (dr. phil) what is my PAYOFF for being so fat? I will ponder.